Who AM I?

What is ILLUSION and what is REAL?

What is ASLEEP and what is AWAKE?

WHO AM I?

I AM a WRITER and my attitude to LIFE is to ‘Gopher It’ and to not give in or give up.

WHO WAS I before I decided to IDENTIFY MYSELF as a writer?

I was LOST in a society that I did not fit within but one that I had been trying to fit in with.

I was exhausted trying to be all things to all people because of programs that denied me my TRUE identity.

I was programmed like many others are, since childhood to discount MY BELIEF SYSTEM and manipulated and bullied by ’other systems’ that told me that I needed to ‘fit in’.

Did I learn to be enabled or disabled?

Was I – Mind 1. The conscious mind? or
Was I – Mind 2. The subconscious mind?

Was the program really mine or was I programmed to BELIEVE it WAS mine because I had been ‘educated’ to BELIEVE that what I had questioned was incorrect and what I needed to LEARN was to ‘FIT IN’ to the systems that have ‘THE POWER’ because that is how they ‘became to be’?

I always did know what I had within me but I became LOST IN TIME at a young age because of bullies that were not identified as bullies and the problem was always me as I was different, imaginative, a daydreamer, a weirdo etc.

OVERTIME I learnt to hide and OVERTIME I learnt a subconscious BELIEF that I was not WORTH my childhood DREAMS.

BULLYING is not a new issue, it has been around for centuries but people seem to be associating the word and its meaning more – OR ARE THEY?

Have people become ‘educated’ to believe that bullies are not bullies if they are ‘management’?

Bullies ‘taught’ ME from a young age that MY LIFE was to be a game of strategy if I wanted to survive them and I also learnt that it was not limited to children who would derive pleasure from humiliation.

I did learn to escape the bullies by going to the library at recess where others ‘like me’ taught me to play chess.  I would learn that chess was a game of strategy and I would associate the game of chess to the game of life.

Life is not for surviving, it is for living and it would take an incident in 2017 that was to undeniably shake me AWAKE.

My heart took me to the hospital because of stress when it went into spasm which was to be the ‘G’reatest ‘G’ift.

No person can go through a ‘life-changing experience’ and NOT change, it is impossible and as I say to people, “Have you ever tried getting the toothpaste back in the tube”?  Just like ‘TIME’, it does not go back to how it was no matter how hard you try, it simply cannot go back to the same shape.  Something may appear to LOOK the same but the ‘mass that matters’ has changed.

It was in the hospital that I would SEE and HEAR something that only I saw and heard when I asked ‘The Universe’, “what is my purpose now?” and in a ‘moment in time’, I received the message to what I had been trying to deny about myself and what I had LEARNED to subconsciously deny/fear about myself since childhood.

I heard the words “Be the Doctor” and I knew exactly what that meant.  I had been watching the interactions of the patients in the ward that I was in. I saw how people spoke and treated everyone in different ways – the people that served the food, the people who cleaned, the people who made the beds, the people who visited, the nursing staff and then THE DOCTORS.

I saw how I had become trapped in MY PAST TIME in THIS TIME trying to be heard but ‘as a child’ who was not heard because she did not ‘FIT within’ systems that do not permit ‘ENERGY’.  I saw that I had to look ‘far BEYOND and into my future’ to become the Doctor of my own life.

I would give myself permission to take back my ‘G’ift of knowing what I wanted to be, whom I knew I was to be and I STOPPED denying my IMAGINATION/INTUITION? as being ‘weird’ and something to fear.  I took back what was ‘WRITE’fully mine.  I would permit myself to listen to the voice of comfort and compassion that sat with me when I was LOST and LONELY as a child.

I would no longer fear the voice that spoke to me from childhood that I learnt not to speak about and the voice that I would have to visit the cemetery to talk to, the place where no one laughs at you for talking to ‘YOURSELF’.  I took back MY OWN POWER and handed fear back to the place it belongs which is not in me and I saw the person I WAS BORN to BE.

It is my drive, my passion to write in HOPE that a ‘piece’ of mine may resonate on a level with others ‘like me’ who did not fit ‘WITHIN’ systems and certain structures.

We are all born UNIQUE individuals and into a family program and throughout life we are exposed to many different systems, teachers and programs.  What we are TAUGHT may not be for our personal best. We all operate on BELIEF systems, whether we are consciously awake to them or not.

Knowledge is POWER and if sharing my writings can assist another in any way and show that change is possible if a person CHOOSES to change, that would be wonderful.

I do BELIEVE and will always BELIEVE that we are ALL able to create the life we want to live because without VISION and HOPE what is there?

The only way to find out if a piece does resonate is to follow my page which contains my stories because every person is their own story and ’every picture’ tells a story.

I have an ENORMOUS amount of writings to share.

BELIEVE in YOU and ‘Go for it’.

Author – I AM Gopher It