I AM Gopher It.

When is a bully not a bully? When is abuse not abuse?

When I read of child suicide from bullying, I FEEL for those children and their families because I am pretty certain those parents thought that they were doing the right thing sending their child to school because we are told that our children must attend school by who?

I see people wanting systems to be held accountable as I would like as well, but I BELIEVE that the only way people will see the change they want to see is by changing the way they THINK.

I personally BELIEVE that the shift that people do want will happen when ‘the people’ see that they do own their own power and when they STAND UNITED with like-minded others.

HOW LONG are people going to say – ‘we’re not gonna take it’?
Twisted Sister – We’re Not Gonna Take it https://youtu.be/SVbaNJ11Ekw )

TIME is always ticking on. WHEN did FREEDOM of CHOICE become another ’systems’ dictatorship?

I am certain that my parents thought that they were doing the right thing sending me to school but I look at the world today and I personally think there is a need for MORE ‘alternative’ schooling programs and homeschooling certainly has plenty of ++++’s to my mind.

I hated school from about age 9/10. Up until this time, I had managed to shut out much but then something changed and I started to really feel the pressure and hear other people’s words more. Those words would start to formulate a program all of their own deep within my subconscious mind.

FOR ME – school was a living nightmare. My attention span in the classroom was minimal because the structured system did not fit me as a creative child, I was bored.

Moving to another country at age ten put me back in TIME as I had to start over again to find sanctuaries to escape to.

‘My’ protection system had been taken away from me. This was when I learnt to go to the library at recess where I met others ‘like me’. Those others taught me to play chess which was to be a life saver. I learnt the game of strategy – LIFE.

Alice Cooper was one of many artists that brought comfort into my life when I arrived in Australia in 1976. This song (Department of Youth) always been one of my favourites and I felt he had written it for me when I was lonely and wanted to be anywhere but school. It gave me strength.  https://youtu.be/mdcXOtnumss

When I got to High School, I thought things would be better, but the bullies were there too. New bullies came on board with a whole new agenda that had nothing to do with me but with my sister who went to a different school.  I was to learn about ‘the pack mentality’. My sister never knew. #romyandmicheleshighschoolreunion

Over time I became so miserable that I would do anything to avoid going to school when I needed a break from the bullies. I would play truant and had to become clever where I could hide as adult predators can find you in public places when it is clear that you should be at school. What kind of ‘system’ permits ‘certain’ children to feel that this is their only option?

I did have some physical altercations at school and out of school with bullies when I fought back. I did tell a couple of teachers at school that certain persons were making my life unbearable in those instances but nothing came of it and in one instance the teacher sided with the bully so I knew I was F*cked.

I did eventually leave school because I was missing more days than what I was attending. That last day at school was the best day ever and I never looked back.
The reception I received at home when I said I had withdrawn from school did not hurt me either because I knew ‘any job’ had to be better than school. I was 16 and FREE or was I?

I now had a program that was deep set that I did not see and I would ‘unknowingly’ continue to attract certain people into my life for many years to come before ending my own life looked like the best option in 2016 to escape the living hell.

I understand HOW that option looks so tempting when pain is so intense and I reflect on that part of my life in REFLECTIONS of SOUL and SPIRIT.

In my life, I have encountered many lost souls but I will not give up and I will continue to gopher it and so I write with HOPE that some piece may ‘resonate’ on a frequency with another who may be feeling similar.

I did ‘eventually’ LEARN at school. My senses were working on ‘OverTIME’
XTC – Senses Working Overtime https://youtu.be/07Fp-omNXCw

I was always trying to work out where I could be safe and get peace. I became a loner.

As a CHILD, I learnt over time to not speak of many things, even to my parents because unfortunately as a child when I was told that I had an active imagination when I spoke of certain things, I felt that I was being called a liar and that was an issue for me because I AM not.  It is the little things that add up to be the big things and over TIME I learnt to keep many things to myself.

OverTIME I would LEARN that I was constantly saying things that others found to be funny or imaginative.
OverTIME I would LEARN that people would shut me down or be hurtful because of this.
OverTIME I would LEARN that others were not being hurtful, it was just a bit of fun.
OverTIME I would LEARN to not speak about certain things and that BULLIES were not BULLIES they were just having a bit of fun.
OverTIME I would LEARN that it was just me that had the problem.
OverTIME I would learn not to cry.
OverTIME I would LEARN to not show hurt.
OverTIME I would LEARN to be FUNNY when I was FEELING hurt.
OverTIME I would LEARN to make FUN of myself to get a break. I would LEARN how to ‘become’ a joker, a comedian.
OverTIME I would LAUGH when I wanted to cry because I had LEARNT not to cry as that was FUNNY.
OverTIME I would LEARN to avoid people to have peace.
OverTIME the ‘mind ONE’ association between the word FUN and EMOTIONAL PAIN (ABUSE) would become ONE and THE SAME.

A saying that had become a program for me in my life was “have FUN with that” when I would not argue or tolerate a manipulator to shut down any form of gas-lighting.

That saying was to ‘cost’ me and my family a great deal in 2015/2016 when another came after us for ‘fun’ because I had used that line in conversations.

Protection Orders do not keep people safe as I know only too well.
I did not SEE the pattern that my ‘education’ was subconsciously attracting but I did eventually learn to begin to UNLEARN what was not serving me well.

Author – I AM Gopher It

Published by Gopher It

'Gopher It' came about as a result of an incident that turned my world ‘WRITE’ side up. Bullies ‘taught’ ME from a young age that MY LIFE was to be a game of strategy if I wanted to survive them. BULLYING is not a new issue, it has been around for centuries but people seem to be associating the word and its meaning more, OR ARE THEY? Have people become ‘educated’ to believe that bullies are not bullies, they are ‘management?' Life is not for surviving, it is for living and it would take an incident in 2017 that was to undeniably shake me awake. My heart took me to the hospital where I was to see and hear something that ONLY I was to witness - I received a DIVINE message. I was about to un-program from ALL that I never was, to be ALL that I AM. This is my journey of UNDERSTANDING what subconscious BELIEF system I had learnt and how I changed it. The Law of Attraction is just that, what vibration we emit we do attract back.